The programs will follow . . .
“If the squirrels complain about a program, that’s the one to follow!”
L. Ron Hubbard
Extract from a paper on
CONTINENTAL MAGAZINES
The thing the squirrels most hate are the Ideal Orgs. They find every out-of-context quote they can to explain why it should not be done, and to try justify their natter.
The reference below gives some of LRH’s thoughts on imposing buildings, and also on owning and using our own broadcasting facilities. If you can’t manage the whole thing, at least read the bits I put in blue.
The links take you to articles about the new studios.
http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-kcet-scientology-20110426,0,781911.story
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42757664
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42757664
[youtube=
Excerpt from
Lecture – 28-Sep-1954
CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY TRAINING PROGRAM AND
LECTURE ON GROUP PROCESSING TAPE TRANSCRIPT
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“Now the church also furnishes quarters for auditing, it furnishes offices for auditing. It keeps the appointments. And it does not, however, go so far as to always give you a preclear from your own district. I want to get that real clear, so there’s no quarrel about that, doesn’t always give you — just because a preclear came in from your district is no reason why you’re necessarily going to get that preclear. It’s going to try to do this, but, you know, after you’ve got about eighteen or twenty preclears from this particular district and you’re supposed to process them all in one week. The Church might get the idea that you’re going to be a little bit tired processing eighty-nine hours of processing during that week. You could say, “Well look at all the preclears I got from my district, I can lay off.
“Well, actually, what happens is there is a gross sum of money collected by the church, you see, every thirty days, and a certain percentage of that is handed out, per capita, to all the auditors who are working. A small percentage, you see? You get the idea? In other words, if you produced eight-nine preclears from your area and you only got five to process, you would still be collecting a percentage from the remaining eighty-four preclears. Something small. But not because you procured them or anything. You you just have that as a natural course of human events. We see that clearly?
“Awfully commercial, isn’t it? Awfully sordid. How are we going to make this world brace up and stand to on such a thing, unless we have one of the things which is represented as power in this particular community, which is cash? And unless an auditor is able to change his — oh I don’t know — have three or four beards to wear and a couple of Cadillacs to drive — unless an auditor himself can put on a sufficiently commanding appearance to the society as a whole, unless the organization occasionally, when it has a couple of dollars it doesn’t know what to do with, build a marble column — build a marble-column church covering eighteen or twenty square blocks, you know, for the kiddies, unless it can do this sort of thing, you are not going to get this job done at all.
“It’s alright to believe in sweetness and light. The way sweetness and light comes into being is for anything that trips up sweetness and light to be completely dissuaded from operating! You got the idea?
“We have an organization called the AMA, and I do not mean the American Motorcycle Association, and it all of a sudden, it all of a sudden, decides that doctors are failing. Let let me show you how this sort of thing words in a society.
“We’re actually working for a clear-cut goal. If we were working for cash alone, this wouldn’t be worth doing. And I wouldn’t be talking to you tonight.
“But the American Motorcycle Association’s copyist that has stolen its initials, the AMA, is capable of purchasing on TV a great deal of time by which to convince the public that medical doctors do not advertise. Isn’t that wonderful. We look at Scream toothpaste, and we see across the top of it, The American Medical Association laboratories pronounce Scream toothpaste a screamer!
“That actually appeared in one of the biggest magazines — not Scream, but the rest of it — The American Medical Association and so on. Actually appeared in a national weekly here a few weeks ago.
“And yet medical doctors can’t advertise. Oh, they do!
“They advertise all over the place! What do you suppose it costs the AMA to get an article into Readers Digest every month? Huh? Of course they don’t advertise, they just buy everybody up!
“And if you can’t buy a radio program — a TV show — if you can’t buy at least the first half of Readers Digest every other issue you’re not in control of your communication lines! And we have learned that the newspapers of the country would rather write all about what a dog you are, what a bum you are, than how many people you’ve made well. So, there’s only one way that you could possibly get a wide open communication line, there’s several ways: machine guns, though, are frowned on. (Laughter) One way to get a wide open machine gunned line, without using machine guns is to shoot it open with dollar bills!
“KTAR might look at you rather palely, down here, on its TV program, if you went in and said, “Well, we want a program and we want a kid’s program and so forth, and you know, and we’re willing to pay you a little time. Of course, we’ll have to have the time rather late in the evening because we can’t quite, you know, pay for the cream time. We can’t go into competition with Jack Benny or something. And we only want fifteen minutes.
“And they say, the program director says, “Well, we don’t know about that stuff. And we have a release here from the American Spoodledorf Association that says it is very bad for Spoodledorfs. And we don’t think we want the program.
“What do you do in a case like that? Go hide your head?
“We’ve had it happen to us already. No, for heaven sakes, at least buy the radar station or the radio station or something. For heaven sakes, do that. Be effective. Be efficient. See, fire the program director and put in one who will accept the program and then run it twenty-four hours a day — Scientology. (Laughter)
“And then the two other programs in the town are getting in your road, do you see, I mean, they’re putting on guys like Red Skelton and things like that and advertising Geritol or something and well, buy them up and cut them off the air! If they won’t listen to your program, I mean, let’s be effective. (laughs)
“No, I’m joking now. Well when I tell you, that the — I wish I weren’t. (laughing) Here, let us say, if this were Chicago and we were talking amongst ourselves as how we’re going to succeed along this particular line, we would have to take into consideration the idea that there are a great many Chicago radio stations and TV stations, which are pouring out an awful lot of material without even mentioning us. Wouldn’t we, if we were talking about this in Chicago? And part of our program would be: How many preclears have we got to publish in order to buy the central TV station of the town? See? We’d be being effective, wouldn’t we?
“Well, of course, I know that a lot of guys have these things above their acceptance level. But if we’re going to be effective, let’s be effective. Let’s start playing — let’s start playing with it, and get action. And the way we do that, if you want preclears, the thing for you to do, is to go out and procure preclears. And process them. That’s true, isn’t it? I mean, if you want them, you’ve got to go get them.”
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“And if you’re going to help the rest of the world, the rest of the world is going to help you, too. And in that way, it will succeed. And if it doesn’t — isn’t done that way, it doesn’t succeed.
“Now I may have sounded terribly commercial to you, talking to you like this. It’s very, very easy to agree with the material universe and say, “Well, you have to HAVE before you can DO.”
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“Well, unfortunately, you are treating people who have to HAVE before they can DO, and unless you duplicate a little bit, you’ll never get there. You see how this is?
“Unless they can look out and see solvent individuals and well-represented buildings — representative buildings, and other things, unless they can see these things, they don’t think much of the organization.
“Unless you can command a communication line, you won’t get anyplace. And the way to command a communication line today is — just as crudely as that, buy yourself a radar — a radio station. That’s easy! Buy a couple of TV stations!…”
“How would you go about doing that? Well, simply, the simpliest thing in the world.”
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Well, it’s 24 hours after my posting about the new studio, and what did I tell you? Or, more to the point, what did LRH say?
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If the squirrels complain about a program, that’s the one to follow! LRH
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Perhaps for just a minute I thought there might be some begrudging acknowledgment from the Rat in regards to the new studio. I had thought to myself, “If this guy is smart and really wants to upset the apple cart, he will validate this cycle. He will read the LRH quote about squirrels complaining, and he will read the tape excerpt and see just exactly where LRH is at on this subject. And taking all that on board, he may just surprise us all.
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“If he is real smart he’ll come out and say, “Well that is good news for LRH tech and for the overall goal of clearing the planet and dissemination of the tech. It’s about time the Church got into doing something positive on a scale like this.”
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“He could even have tried to take some credit with a few comments like, “They only bought the studio because I, Marty the Lofty, have been pointing out that they need to do more dissemination.”
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“He might even be able to sneak in a few 1.1 comments and some natter as well, if the overall thrust of his response was that it was a positive thing.”
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“Imagine the confusion that he could cause by endorsing this program. We would all wonder if it was a good thing that we had the studio, what with a squirrel saying it was a good thing. Something like that might rattle our cage!
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“And his disciples would be shocked at first and then as they caught on they would be proud of their fearless leader who, for once, spoke the truth. This could start a whole trend of squirrels validating the Church and Management, and defending and applying LRH! OMG – the confusion!”
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“Yes,” I thought, “If Marty is a real Smarty, what he will do to ruin our day completely is he will validate this program.”
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I really was quite worried about it, and I considered taking out the LRH quotes so as not to tip him off.
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I need not have worried. Smarty Marty missed that great trick and instead did the predicted and attacked this program instantly, once again confirming that:
• He is a squirrel and always will be
• He is stupid and getting worse
• This is a good program and one that must be pushed.
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So, all is well.
The Church of Scientology certainly makes a BIG impression these days.
Making a list of Marty’s complaints should be a good index of which programs are succeeding in the Church.
Minerva,
I heard the news on the radio this morning and then saw it on the morning news on TV. What a great idea for the Church to get their own TV station. If you go to Google Earth or Bing maps and you can get a bird’s eye view of the studio. This is really big.
I never pay attention to what the squirrels say. I long ago learned that they’ve got everything reversed anyway, however the LRH quotes you give are 100% accurate. If the squirrels complain about Ideal Orgs, that’s what we should be doing. If they complain about IAS, then we should go for it. I am sure Marty Rathbun will have to post how buying the new studio is all wrong and just proves how the Church is “dead”.
I think you should do a parody from Marty Rathbun on how wrong it is for the Church a TV station. I get a kick out of them. Don’t tell Marty I said this.
This is really BIG. It is hard to imagine that we’ve not only got a complete state of the art book publishing facility that can do print on demand of any book or transcript in the LRH library in a whole slew of languages, but that we have our own printing plant as well. And now we will be able to do broadcast television. Now that is thinking BIG!
Yes, this is HUGE. Just like LRH said to do it, too.
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I can hear the squirrels squealing already!
Well, Squirrel Rathbun keeps whining about Ideal Orgs as “monuments.”
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I say let’s have as many as we can. Let’s bring them on and listen to the squirrels complain.
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Here’s a “monument” to COMMUNICATION and EXPANSION.
Mike, read Marty’s blog. It’s an almost constant parody of why it’s wrong for the Church to be there and communicate.
Nice how well received this news has been in the local media. LRH makes a great point, the public sees the affluence and well appointed buildings, and they know us by our mest.
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Interestingly, local LA news coverage was nothing but impressed and respectful.
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No word yet on what the media thinks about the Shack.
And Marty will be saying, “What are these places?”
These are the kind of things that are represented as power in our society. For that reason alone it’s a great idea.
Then just imagine what will be produced there, and what new abilities it will add for the Church
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I don’t think we’ve heard anything near what the Church will be doing with this studio.
Well that is how Flourish and Prosper is done on a grand scale. This is going to be fantastic for dissemination! What a voice we will have.
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Thanks too for the great quotes. A marble column church covering 20 square blocks – kind of puts the Ideal Orgs in perspective doesn’t it.
It’s only ever a few media that have anything negative to say about Scientology and LRH, and even then, it is only a few idiots within those oganizations that do it.
Hats off to COB! He’s done it again!
brilliant news! I’m dying to see what comes out of this studio. also be interesting to hear the whining of the sheep at marty’s
Well, this new facility sure tells the story of the carrying out LRH’s intention to get the job done! All that Rat and his minion rats can do is scream, natter and complain – because all they get is the tiny ole squirrel shack. The Church, under it’s incredible leadership, IS getting the job done. This new facility is one of our most exciting ventures to date! We, and the entire planet, are incredibly fortunate.
Yes, and Marty’s big “expansion” was from one shack to another.
I’m not in so Cal so I’m not familiar with this station, but I looked it all over on google earth and it’s not a small studio from what I can tell. This is very exciting news and I’m really curious as to what will be produced here. Any further word?
Great quotes, Minerva. I agree with Linebacker – let’s just make a list of everything Rathbun whines about and go there hard.
Something from that tape tells me LRH would be very tickled to see all the new Ideal Orgs and properties (and probably is!)
y’know if Rathbun decided to be a good boy for a while, he might be able to get a job sweeping up at the new studio.
Just a thought…
I love that tape, and just re-read the quotes from it. This only helps boost the ‘commanding appearance’ that the Church has more and more of.
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Those of us who actually get case gain know the substance is there, too.
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It made me think of how LRH obtained Saint Hill Manor when he went to England. Big splash, big news, commanding appearance. He could have gotten a nice little suite of offices somewhere, but he didn’t. He went for it. Simple.
LRH long had the intention that we be effective, and reiterates it in this tape. The rest is Q&A and counter-intention.
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The squirrels and SPs like Rathbun only try to make people Q&A instead of being effective.
Blow them off and leave them in the dust.
This is a total key-out for me. Every time the Church announces a new Ideal Org, a new social betterment win, a new facility or acquisition like this – it’s a major step forward.
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The slimy slugs that try to pull us backward, hold us or stop us have to gag every time they hear something like this. And there are plenty of somethings like this happening these days.
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I don’t care what they squeal about on the entheta forums like Ratbun’s. Deep down it’s painful for them. After all, what are THEY accomplishing?
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Less than nothing.
…and Marty the megalomaniac and delusional fool is sitting there scratching his hatless head wondering how COB is doing all of it without Marty to “help” him. He still has a bad case of delusional cause about his days in the SO, when in fact all he ever did was hold things back.
lol. that’s actually a pretty good description of rathbun’s natter board. it does read like a parody of all things squirrely. maybe that’s what makes me check it out every once in a while.
Like Marty’s new friend at the Voice that he feeds articles to. Yeah – they guy who is rabidly anti-Scientology and anti-LRH. (Oh, but Marty is pro both!)
I love the LRH viewpoint about controlling our communication lines. It’s a total responsibility viewpoint.
This new studio will only help with that. A great move, and I’m thrilled to hear about it. It’s all looking good.
“I am sure Marty Rathbun will have to post how buying the new studio is all wrong and just proves how the Church is “dead”
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The butthead rathbun is going to say what he’s going to say. We know he’s not going to come out and say “what a great idea! way to go – huge win! this will really help forward Scientology”
or any such thing. He’ll find a dozen ways to invalidate it and natter about it.
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This is a schmuck sitting on a canal drinking and soaking up victims’ money, and nattering and not producing a single damn positive thing, but he’ll be imperious and arrogant and make entheta pronouncements about how bad it all is.
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Go fish, Marty.
I wondered if you were going to post something about this, and here you are the first ones talking about it.
I heard this from some people at the org today, and am thrilled as can be. We’ve all been talking about all the things the church can do with this new studio. I can’t wait to see it, but it looks like we’ll have to wait a year at least.
I’m particularly excited about what this may mean for the African-American Scientologist community, as a number of us have been talking about this today and are very excited about the possibilities.
I am sure we will all be hearing much more about all of this in the near future.
Its about time we have a TV station and a line up of shows.
LRH said ““Unless you can command a communication line, you won’t get anyplace. And the way to command a communication line today is — just as crudely as that, buy yourself a radar — a radio station. That’s easy! Buy a couple of TV stations!…”
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I never saw this so thanks for publishing it. Boy! Talk about a comm lag! We should have done this long ago.
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That is a perfect lRH viewpoint on all of this, too. Just do it, and damn the stops!
Think of all the years people had to practically walk over Rathbun’s dead body to get things done. His counter intention and covert sabotage cost the Church years and years and many millions in treasury lost. He’s even admitted as much.
And the dirtbag is still at it, trying to subvert the Church’s efforts from the outside now.
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I would love to have delivered the news about this studio acquisition to Marty himself, along with a couple of flowers, and a less-than-theta “have a nice day.”
There will be plenty of whining and inval and entheta about how it doesn’t represent anything, etc., but at the end of the day, we’ll still own the studio, and our capabilities will be that much more enhanced.
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Still, the whining will be entertaining.
Exactly. And it shows you what LRH would think of the Ideal Orgs and other properties, too!
Yes. And he got one whole new PC! He’s booming!
Gee, doesn’t look like the Church was all that devastated by Marty’s big black PR campaign about it being “dead.”
Go figure.
Anyone got the Rat’s’ shack address? We could send him a CB radio. He needs his station too.
“Rat’ here” thats a 10-4 good buddy. Hey wat r those gad%#$! squirrels doing on my porch!!!!! Is this a F$%^&!@@!! joke. Folks there are squirrels @$8&!shit$##g on my porch. OSA black ops!!! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Black Squirrels wearing David Mayo masks personally trained and handpicked by DM have parachuted on to my porch. 73′s til tomorrow, I have a kettle needs painting black – Rat’!
I don’t know about that…doubt he can do mest work…the only thing he has any stats for is maybe J&D standup.
I think this may just mark a brand new chapter in media and media relations. I can’t wait to hear more about this, at the next event I hope.
He acts stupid so well…I don’t think it is only the decades of practice that makes him good. I think Rathbun thinks stupid is a great tool for his specialty of aggravated deceit.
If they were whole once, they certainly aren’t anymore. You can’t go running people on lists incorrectly, indicating the improper item and the like, without ripping them apart inside. Psychiatrists do that so well and Rathbun is leading his crew down that dwindling channel.
Isn’t Marty predictably funny!
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His response to the news is to dive into his bank and some up with a new movie clip that explains to him what is going on. As soon as he has that movie clip he is all set, and can think again.
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I find it astonishing that someone who is tech trained (allegedly) and who has had auditing, cannot see what is in front of them, but has to look at the world through a series of movie clips.
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Anyway, Marty has it all figured out now. We are in the middle of watching the Godfather.
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Anyone for some more popcorn?
Well here are a few he hates:
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Training of Auditors using GAT and in particular, any kind of drilling at all.
Metering and meter training.
The BASICS and the drive to get people hatted up as Scientologists.
Flag and anything it delivers – especially NOTS and L’s.
Celebrites, especially those that are vocal in supporting LRH and the Church. He goes violent about any that vocally support COB.
The IAS and in particular any support it gives to 4th dynamic campaigns.
Reprogramming people for things they missed full EPs on earlier on the bridge, especially Objectives and Clear.
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There are others but I am chucking too much to think of them right now. All of these programs enturbulate the hell out of him. Has he ever chosen a loosing battle. LOL.
Philly – you just got to be able to think the thought through like Marty does. It goes like this:
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I love LRH and the Tech (I have to say that as otherwise people will really know where I am at, which is that I think I can dramatically improve on LRH’s work), BUT as long as COB is in control of Scientology he won’t allow me to re-invent the tech and take over all the public and have access to all that money, SO THEREFORE I have to get rid of COB as a top priority and the only way to do that is enlist his enemies, BUT UNFORTUNATELY his enemies are people who also hate LRH and Scientology which I am claiming I support, SO BY assisting people attack LRH I am getting some collateral damage on COB and as that aligns with my basic purpose I feel good about it.
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Plus it sure beats mopping floors in a MacDonalds, or writing articles on how to drive or bake bread.
You are right. Marty certainly is not in present time. One day he is Humphrey Bogart, the next John Wayne, then Jack Nicholson, and now he’s in the Godfather. His latest posting was obviously a response to Minerva but as she pointed out, “If the squirrels complain about a program, that’s the one to follow!” LRH – The more Rathbun and Rinder complain about the Ideal Orgs, the sound studios, the film making etc. the more we know that these are the winning tickets. I doubt, these two knuckleheads have even watched any of the products that are coming out these days from Gold. They put to shame the past efforts when they were around. So it is nothing but sour grapes from the tone of their comments.
That’s a pretty good start. He also seems to be complaining lately about New Era Dianetics for OTs and wants everyone to use altered versions of it. So we know that getting people through NED for OTs has got to be a winning ticket.
Rathbun and Rinder are so predictable. They remind me of the entheta reporter who shows up. He’s got his story written already and it doesn’t matter if you just saved a thousand lives by getting them off drugs, or opened up new vistas for the underprivileged by teaching them to read and write, these two turncoats are going to complain and natter. The better something is, the more they will complain. They just keep digging a deeper and deeper hole for themselves.
I can think of all sorts of things that I would like to see on such a TV station. First off you could show the Div 6 films, like the Problems of Work or the one that explains how to do Dianetics. The CCHR films could be shown and you could do interviews with victims giving their stories and soliciting the public to come forward with psychiatric abuses. You could also do live demonstrations of the E-meter and you could interview Scientologists who could talk about how they use Scientology in their lives. You could even create a good news program for a real change.
Didn’t you know he is getting messages from outer space.
Awesome!! We own a TV station. Oh how the squirrels will howl. These few DB’s go on to the internet and act as if they are talking to the whole world when in fact they are not really even talking to each other. The Church of Scientology buys a TV station so that it can actually talk to the whole world.
Orders of magnitude baby!!! ORDERS OF MAGNITUDE – COB gets it!
I couldn’t be prouder.
Future TV directory
7:00 – 8:00 pm “The way to Happiness” A close look at the precept “Respect the religious beliefs of others” and how it has changed our world.
8:00 – 9:00 PM DIANETICS!!! The only technology of the the mind and how you can use it at home.
9:00 – 10:00pm Scientology The Science of Certainy. Basic data on how to live more effectively!
10:00 – 2:00 PM By popular demand a reshowing of the most recent International LRH Birthday Gala. Hear again the fantastic international expansion and the demand for Scientology word wide!
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2:00 – 2:20 AM What ever happened to the squirrels? A disturbing look into the past and how a few degraded beings destroyed themselves and took a couple of other idiots with them. Rated R for sadness and stupidity.
No the “Church” didn’t even notice!
I want to be the program director!! This is going to be fun.
Yes an announcement at an event will really give Marty Rathbun and Mike Rinder something to complain about. I can’t wait.
The whining will start with the Martster with a loud Baaaaaaa, and then and die out as the rest of them run for the hills as when Marty sees a sheep he can’t help himself but try and screw it.
LRH Book printing in all languages, CD and DVD manufacturing of LRH lectures, our own printing and now our own TV station. This is getting interesting. I don’t want to miss this one. I would guess that if you can produce enough content, you can syndicate to other stations.
Marty and his retards, once they recover from the violent shot to the gut this is to them, will put up a pretense of dissatisfaction, which just further demonstrates he never was anything but a hanger on, trying to be admired.
If this was a boxing match Marty is laying on the floor dazed with slobber running out the side of his mouth. Some dazed victim of his in his corner screaming “you’re winning. you’re winning”
His whole crew of course bet the house on the other fighter.
Great, great quote from LRH. Really keeps things in perspective and shows just how vital it was to get all the lectures out. COB really has a well mapped road for our progress. We are not just using some of the tech we are using it all!!
I love these fools who scream we cant afford these things, yes we can and yes we are!
That’s right we just bought a TV station and most likely for cash. And next we are getting 25 ideal Orgs and three more AO’s and then after that…… and after that ….. and after that …….
Been there, read that. It’s actually a recycled unit of natter that Rinder and Rathbun have gone into before, each time from a slightly different angle. This time they threw in some fairly irrelevant crap from wikipedia, probably written by someone like RatRin.
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They had to reach pretty far to invalidate the studio acquisition, and notice that they didn’t even do that directly. They couldn’t come at it straight-on.
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This is their idea of being clever, but those of us who have actually duplicated some of the tech realize it’s a) natter, b) 1.1 or below, c) degraded and alter-issed, with an inability to complete a cycle of action thrown in for good measure.
I wasn’t worried actually. someone here pointed out recently that a tiger can’t change his stripes, and a squirrel can’t change his fur. you could pretty much bet that rat and rin would find a way to be nasty about it. it’s now their nature.
if something looks good for cob, they’re against it, and they will find a way to twist it into their sour natter-view of things.
You need not have worried. Rat couldn’t think creatively like that if he wanted to. His thoughts and his actions are always reactive, and are very predictable.
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I’ll give you odds of 97.5 to 2.5 that Rathbun will never validate COB, never admit that he has been wrong, and never apply any of the tech standardly.
Doesn’t even need anyone who has duplicated any of the tech. It’s called “Sour grapes” and everyone knows what that means and what it implies.
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sour.
sour grapes an attitude in which someone disparages or affects to despise something because they cannot have it themselves : government officials dismissed many of the complaints as sour grapes. [ORIGIN: with allusion to Aesop's fable The Fox and the Grapes.]
DERIVATIVES
sourish adjective
sourly adverb
sourness noun
ORIGIN Old English s?r, of Germanic origin; related to Dutch zuur and German sauer.
LOL! But it’s aggravated assault. (On people’s intelligence and innate sense of fair play).
From what I hear, that is not a whole pc he has there. She definitely comes up short (or challenged to be PC about this PC) on a number of key characteristics.
These knuckleheads as you call them are completely stuck in the past, and stuck in false incidents in the past. It’s as though they once saw a movie of some old Chinese guy using an abacus, and so now they protest against people using computers and spreadsheets.
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I have been around a long time. The good old days they yak on about were not good. Things are waaayyyy better now and to not be able to see that means they are simply looking at stuck pictures.
Is there anything good he doesn’t complain about?
Actually a CB radio is a tad to sophisticated I think a latter and a bullhorn would be sufficient. He talk to the fishes.
Funny and true. It seems that many of his sheep have indeed run for the hills judging by the lack of comments and lack of enthusiasm for attacking the studios over on his site.
Nah. He can’t think on his feet.
Good point. LRH was a real class act and always had the best of everything. I am sure he would be delighted with the Ideal Orgs that are being created, and the work that has been done to ensure his legacy is accurate and disseminated across the world.
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I am equally certain that he would have zero tolerance for the like of the Rat and what he is doing, and not because that is what I imagine, but because of what I have read in Policy.
I agree. Good riddance to them I say.
Yes – but you have to admire the ingenuity and creative thinking they do sometimes to accomplish that. I mean it takes a really keen mind to select a clip from a film. If any asshole could do that you’d have loads of squirrels posting film clips and songs all over the place.
Sadly I was not at all hopeful. Rat and Rimmer would compulsively natter about the tide going out.
And probably do.
Imagine the sleepless nights they spend tossing and turning as they imagine the world awakening to Scientology through the new TV station KSCN and then all these good people wondering why they didn’t find out about Scientology sooner only to discover how a few dimwitted squirrels fought to keep Scientology out of their lives. Now the eyes of the world turn to that back water swamp in south Texas the rat calls home. Abu Ghraib will look like a picnic compared to what the “masses” might do to such people.
Not pretty, but it will be deserved.
Aaah, but if you would just listen to the Rat you would know that that is never going to happen as there aren’t enough staff left in the world to even man one of those facilities.
.
I’m not sure how they get all that promo out, but . . .
You beat me to it! I agree with all you said about what could be shown, but how about a good news program. One that gave the positive as well as any bad news. One that said that even though a company may have closed down, 10 others are expanding like never before.
.
I ma not looking for something that pretends that all is well and nice. If some asshole starts a war someplace, that is news. But I want to know the data I get from a news broadcaster is correct and not slanted, and I also want the news in perspective and balanced.
.
That alone would attract people. Most people are fed up with the diet of bad news and ‘unsolvable’ problems we are fed daily.
LOL! You got him pegged.
Hey Trigger – best comment of the lot! You should be the program director. Watching that would be a key out.
“I need not have worried. Smarty Marty missed that great trick and instead did the predicted and attacked this program instantly, once again confirming that:
—
• He is a squirrel and always will be
• He is stupid and getting worse
• This is a good program and one that must be pushed.”
—
And also: LRH’s ability to predict behavior is unequaled.
Kind of harsh… towards retards. I kind of like “mutants” – “Marty’s Mutants” – who knows, could end up syndicated, Rated “S” for Stupid. Too bad the little bugger is below realizing his show was canceled a long time ago.
Saturday
2:00-2:20 History Squirrel Channel
A Rat’ playing with his Nuts.
Episode 7, Marty the Martyr
.
Sunday
2:00-2:20 History Squirrel Channel
DM made me do it!
Episode 8, Marty the Martyr
.
Monday
2:00-2:20 History Squirrel Channel
Squirrel Caged, Rat’ Numbered Photo Set
Episode 9, Marty the Martyr
.
Tuesday
2:00-2:20 History Squirrel Channel
Rat’ Fashion Channel, My Orange Jumps
Episode 10, Marty the Martyr
.
Wednesday
2:00-2:20 History Squirrel Channel
Rat’ Social Betterment Campaign Part 1
County Roadside Litter Weekends
Episode 11, Marty the Martyr
.
Thursday
2:00-2:20 History Squirrel Channel
Rat’ Social Betterment Campaign Part 2
Anger Management Class
Episode 12, Marty the Martyr
You forgot:
.
Friday
2:00-2:20 History Squirrel Channel
Do-it-Yourself Weekend Edition
“How to Alter Anything”
Episode 13, Marty the Martyr
What’s screamingly obvious about this (and when you think about it, pretty damn funny) is how these two mutts COMPLETELY ignored LRH references on the matter.
You are right, Minerva. The RATIONAL thing for Marty (and by extension Mike) to have done would be to take the high road. Just plain acknowledge that promotion for Scientology itself aligns with their stated (and utterly false) objectives. They could have still nattered about it and said something like “well, it’s about time.”
~
But we know these two stimulus-response lab rats can’t help themselves. They have to dramatize the same aberrated script given any stimulus.
~
Maybe they are just trying to prove that their real technical “source” is Pavlov.
I don’t think it would have completely ruined your day even if the Rat had validated it. He’d still look like to false ass he is.
No need to edit out the LRH quotes – Rat-Rin won’t read them, and if they do they won’t duplicate them. It doesn’t fit with their very selective use of LRH to make others wrong.
Not to worry. Marty would have had to take off his tin-foil hat to have had that brainstorm.
No, but we did, and do, and THAT’S entertainment!
“I need not have worried. Smarty Marty missed that great trick and instead did the predicted and attacked this program instantly, once again confirming that:
• He is a squirrel and always will be
• He is stupid and getting worse
• This is a good program and one that must be pushed.”
…
Can’t fault your analysis – it’s almost too easy, isn’t it?
…
Once again, I think we give these morons Rathbun and Rinder too much credit. It’s amazing how a decent WordPress template can make the dullest of creatures look almost intelligent!
Whatever it is, it’s always “aggravated.” By life and livingness mostly. Rathbun just doesn’t as-is things; he can’t.
Hey, smarty-pants I DID read the LRH quotes you put up here. I just know that this is old, background data and no longer in use.
I think it’s just business as usual with Rathbun/rinder. They are just going to keep playing the same tune over and over. I can see them whining in the middle of a swamp, when all around them are getting better, and truly moving up a little higher.
I think they feel that if they keep saying the church is “dead” and things “are all bad over there” it will somehow make it happen.
How did LRH say it? They’re just “whistling past the graveyard” (theirs!)
yeah, well they better pucker up and blow, cause it’s just gonna keep happening.
Love that phrase “recycled unit of natter” !
This is a great way to break down each of their enemy lines into categories, if we wanted to do so. I think Minerva said she was going to do something like that on this site.
..
There ought to be a section with each of the enthetans’ Units of Natter, and what the real dope is. Like the LRH quote above could show Source versus the crying these creeps do about Ideal Orgs.
…yeah, what Marty said!
Marty is just trying to appeal to his “right-brain” audience. He’s taking “creative liberties” with logic, rationality, reasoning, and other unimportant stuff like that.
The whole “entheta field” will be paying attention and wondering “how the hell can the Church keep doing this, with all the obsessive work we do to destroy it?”
I don’t usually like to see anyone in pain, but this is one kind of pain in one kind of person I don’t mind.
..
As usual, the answer is to flourish and prosper.
Marty will be saying “what are these places?”
~
That’s Rathbun’s version of “What wall???”
It *is* very funny. Neither of them actually take in anything by LRH unless they can twist it toward their destructive intentions. So they’re probably just ignoring it. Or if they notice it, they’ll twist and try to degrade it or say it doesn’t apply here. So predictable.
Oops my slip, when I say retard I meant it as a person who purposely cripples themselves with overts and then pretends it was anothers fault.
“Maybe they are just trying to prove that their real technical “source” is Pavlov.’
…
Teacher, this is *very* funny. You’re right on the nose. These two have degraded themselves down to being stimulus-response machines.
…
And they think OUR future is dismal.
And you know what their thinking. “Their coming oh my god their coming and their is no stopping them.” And they are right.
WE ARE COMING,OH MAN ARE WE EVER!!!
The good news for the squirrels is that apathy is right around the corner and from there it is just a short walk to oblivion. And there is no lack of good people to help them on their way.
I still want to be the program director!
Unfortunately, I understood everything you said. That has to be the real computation.
.
What astonishes me is that even a computing psychotic like Rathbun (and Rinder for that matter) can’t compute that destroying Scientology (the ‘church’) isn’t going to help them even if they were to realize their delusional dreams. What would be left to take over? In the public’s mind, you can’t destroy the Church without destroying the whole ‘subject’.
.
Like all computing psychos, the answer is destruction/non-survival as the ultimate end.
“The butthead rathbun is going to say what he’s going to say.”
..
Exactly. He’s already thought of the most outrageous and scary things he could think of to say. If he could think of anything worse, he’d say it.
..
Rathbun is just going to keep saying what he’s going to say until he goes down in flames. Don’t look for logic or even real intelligence in his barking.
OR
2:00 – 2:10 AM The degraded bieng.
A profile of Marty Rathbun, megalomania and his infatuation with Mike Render’s mouth.
Not suited for anyone who has hopes and dreams.
Well, he is a scavenger. Look at the buzzard he took for his mascot.
LOL! OMG! Rathbun is a goog. End of comment>
I think they are pretending it doesn’t exist. it’s their only defense.
I hear Marty is sponsoring a contest to promote his new CB channel. First prize is a week at the shack. Second prize is two weeks at the shack.
Great post, as usual.
Rathbun is enturbulated — manifesting changed behaviour, manically outflowing…
Reading his comm and his 1.1 comments it is possible to discern his mood — and of course, you can SEE it in the videos..
Wow. He is upset..
He puts himself out there like some “mover and shaker” — “big man on campus” — with his sychophantic followers hanging on his every word like the Kool Aid drinkers they are. Laughable that he is the one accusing others of Jonestown behaviour and he just can’t see that HE is Jones in this whole scenario.
Both bullies.
Both criminals.
Both splintering from the mainstream due to their constant and irrepressible desire to alter-is and inability to work in harmony with others.
Both manic towards the end…
Both frantic and compulsively outflowing…
Both afraid of the dark.. when the demons come…
Both sinking to the bottom of liquor bottles… to take the edge off.. to numb the pain… to help them sleep.. to help them forget…
Both doomed.
A self inflicted doom. The only way — they think — to stop the mess they’ve started; to stop themselves.
Truth is though, LRH gave Marty another choice — the only way out of the hell he has created for himself.
Truth.
Honesty.
Remorse.
Amends.
Change.
What was it Shakespeare said?
“The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”
Marty, suggest you stop protesting and start recanting.
- TDH
“…yeah, what Marty said!”
—
Hey look, Marty has “Virtual Yes Man”.
—
http://www.almorale.com/bossdayal.html
“I just know that this is old, background data and no longer in use.”
—
Do you mean you or Mike?
Here’s what the guy over at the Voice (Tony Ortega) has to say about himself:
—
“I’m a cardholding member of the Evil Empire, a New Times hack who’s been at it for ten years, the boogeyman every Birkenstock-wearing hippie burnout still clinging to a paycheck at alt-weeklies sees in his sleep, coming to take his job and turn his paper into a soulless corporate moneymaker.”
Or
Rat man to Purdy Mouth (Rinders call sign)- Rat man to Purdy Mouth are you there?
Rat man this is Purdy Mouth go ahead
Is it safe to come outside. Saw a guy with a t-shirt that had a picture that looked like me on it a few days ago. – Over
That was me you idiot – I was leaning over and mooning you – over.
Are you sure!? Didn’t look like you – over
Of course it didn’t look like me I was mooning you – over
Why were you mooning me – over
I don’t know OSA told me too – over
That’s always your excuse Purdy Mouth – over
Well its better then yours Rat man- over
I am going to use my meter to check for spies.- over
What meter? – over
The one that I pull overts with – over
That hasn’t worked for years – over
Purdy mouth why are you so negative – over
Marty stop talking to me with that fake southern accent you are starting to sound like the guys from deliverance. – over
Purdy mouth!! Don’t use my real name just my call sign – over
Rat man Im out. Click!
My Marty will never recant. He will never show remorse and he doesn’t even do the dishes let alone amends. You people characterize him as stupid and mean. But he is only mean when he is drunk, which wasn’t to often until last week. And he has a learning disability not stupid.
I work hard all day supporting him (he currently just isn’t up to holding a job) and I don’t appreciate you all stirring him up. He gets so mad he turns a different color.
He has dreams, you know that he is beamed down from a spaceship and is a conquerer of all animals and people.
I have one favor to ask, could you tell that Mike guy he’s not welcome here anymore! He eats all the food and hits on the old lady next door and it’s embarrassing.
It is above the level of understanding of Marty Rathbun and Mike Rinder that they are manifesting missed withholds or that they are even nattering. It is also above their level of ability to duplicate the technical points made by LRH in the HCOB Blowoffs. This HCOB does not apply to them. They didn’t blow because of overts. They aren’t nattering because of the things they have done to the target of their natter.
And because they can take no responsibility for their past actions, they are doomed to be stuck in a perpetual dramatization which will never as-is. Before the ever get any case gain, they’re going to have to clean up their act. That means fessing up and actually taking responsibility.
Mosey,
You don’t sound so bad after all.
The first step is to stop committing present time overts and to cease all attacks and suppressions so he can get a case gain. (Per the Suppressive Acts policy)
I think those squirrel busters who raided Marty Rathbun’s place have the logo already worked out for this channel.
Squirrel Buster Productions Presents:
“Squirrels Gone Wild!”
Staring Marty Rathbun
Great LRH quote! Hit the nail on the head with a sledgehammer!
I see that Rinder and Rathbun will twist everything upside down and downside up to make it seem that they, above all, are the supreme beings they are. What joke. Minerva, I love that LRH reference.
In that case, they’re obviously mutant retards.
“Before the ever get any case gain, they’re going to have to clean up their act. That means fessing up and actually taking responsibility.”
.
My, my, my. Imagine that this could ever be done by them. There would need to be so much constant gain of knowledge and control, then more responsibility, then more gain of knowledge and control, then more responsibility, then more gain of knowledge and control, then more responsibility, then more gain of knowledge and control, and on and on, just to get to the level of [Control] losing the compulsion that they are dominated by, [Knowledge] realizing the effects of their inability to be actual cause and [Responsibility] being able to change from the desperate attempts to damage and actually create from positive postulates.
.
I don’t want to wish anyone ill, but let’s face it. Rathbun and the people he is dragging down with him are going to continue their dwindling spiral. They just don’t have any KRC left in them.
Recycled Units of Natter
Enthetans
.
There is so much KSW gain in studying these examples of ByPassedChargeGoneWild that Rathbun and his sycophants show us. If only we could adequately thank him.
This just goes back to how stupid they are. They don’t see the beauty of each person knowing the Basics. They don’t understand the implications of people knowing and confirming data in such an innate manner, while still the number of people making gains from auditing has not decreased, the number of people around the world gaining positive images of Scientology and receiving gains from it continuing to rise.
.
Not a single thing they say has proven correct. You could see that they could have a point if management decided to take attention off of one area to build up another and everything collapsed so that one area could gain. But that hasn’t happened. Projects are firing from every division and department and lighting up the world.
.
They’re a flea-bitten pack of jackals who think their natter is howling at the moon.
Ha ha ha. I know the feeling.
.
But clearing one word in a Basics Course has more benefit than trying to change Marty now. The spiral is getting so fast and tight, his stupidity is getting so banal, that he must be feeling the extreme loss of everything now. It won’t be long.
As delightful as the results of KSCN is to think about, I have to disagree with part 2 of your analysis. The effect of the RatRin is so relatively negligible in comparison to all that is going on. Those people you think about of a few years from now will be in awe that an organization could have been prepared with magnificent Ideal Orgs for the onrush of populations, with online Basics and other materials for those in the hinterlands, with a honed organization of Volunteer Ministers for handling strife on the planet.
.
It is striking how opposite the future is to what degradation that Rathbun inspires in his piddle-squad.
Enthetans – love the name. Describes them to a T.
A leopard can’t change its spots that is true. But it is a good hunter and able to work its environment to make sure it gets its kill.
.
I think Minerva’s point was not that they would actually agree with the program, but that they might SAY they did only to cause confusion and upset.
.
To be sure, if Marty had come out and validated the program and the purchase if the studio, I would have worried that it was a bad move.
.
It is comforting that they attack it. Everything is sort of balanced then.
HAHAHA. You’ll never get anyone to take those odds – not even the most dimwitted SP would fall for that.
Ain’t that the truth. His perspicacity is amazing.
Maybe they are just trying to prove that their real technical “source” is Pavlov.
.
It might as well be. They are so predicable that they are more reliable than lab rats.
.
Now there is a possible opening for the Rat. He could hire himself out as a Lab Rat.
+ 1 to what Mike said.
Teacher – did you mean right-brain audience or rat-brain audience?
Here’s another Aesop’s Fable that describes Marty:
—
The Ass Carrying the Image
—
AN ASS once carried through the streets of a city a famous wooden
Image, to be placed in one of its Temples. As he passed along,
the crowd made lowly prostration before the Image. The Ass,
thinking that they bowed their heads in token of respect for
himself, bristled up with pride, gave himself airs, and refused
to move another step. The driver, seeing him thus stop, laid his
whip lustily about his shoulders and said, “O you perverse
dull-head! it is not yet come to this, that men pay worship to an
Ass.”
—
They are not wise who give to themselves the credit due to others.
Mosey, most of us here are sympathetic with you. We already knew about what you’ve said here, (except for the dishes thing, but that was predictable.) While I don’t have any suggestions for keeping Mike out of your pantry and the neighbor’s panties (other than perhaps to hang a cluster of garlic on your porches) I may be able to suggest a few things for the care and handling of Marty.
..
1) Avoid any mention of COB. For example, don’t say things like “Marty, would you like some corn on the C.O.B with your sardines?” or “Marty, can you clean out the C.O.B.webs up in the corner there?” You’re just going to set him off with things like this, and he’s likely to have an aneurism.
/
2) Turn off your internet connection. Aside from the Black Operators that are getting into his blog and making everything he writes sound ignorant, paranoid, and irrational, the internet is a constant source of news about how the Church is progressing and expanding and this only serves to sock Marty into his icky purposes, making him want to chew the carpet and otherwise ruining his day. Some time away from this would be good for him in many ways.
/
3) Try to get Marty to notice things around him.
See if you can get Marty to notice the walls, for example. Say “Marty, look at that wall,” firmly and with no doubt that he’ll do what you say. When he says, “what wall?” walk him over to it and have him touch it. Keep doing this with all the walls in the house. Then take him outside and have him look at all kinds of thing, both near and far. Do that for as long as you can, hours if possible. Think of it as your “quiet time” together.
/
There’s much more you can do, but these three guidelines make a very good start. Of course none of this is going to help unless you are somehow able to reduce his alcohol intake, and get him to eat good foods, and far fewer twinkies.
/
Bon chance!
“1) Avoid any mention of COB. For example, don’t say things like “Marty, would you like some corn on the C.O.B with your sardines?” or “Marty, can you clean out the C.O.B.webs up in the corner there?”
—
ROTFL!
How about – “Marty, can you C.O.B.ble a story together for the blog today?”
Mosey,
we feel your pain, I think the advice given here is good advice. But here is some more.
First here is a fuller word list of words to avoid. We all know Marty is very sensitive and has his reality invalidated easily.
cob
cobalamin
cobalamins
cobalt
cobaltic
cobaltine
cobaltines
cobaltite
cobaltites
cobaltous
cobalts
cobb
cobber
cobbers
cobbier
cobbiest
cobble
cobbled
cobbler
cobblers
cobbles
cobblestone
cobblestoned
cobblestones
cobbling
cobbs
cobby
cobelligerent
cobelligerents
cobia
cobias
coble
cobles
cobnut
cobnuts
cobra
cobras
cobs
cobweb
cobwebbed
cobwebbier
cobwebbiest
cobwebbing
cobwebby
cobwebs
Dont mention baseball or Ty Cob.
Next don’t look the beast in the eyes. This seems to infuriate him possibly he begins to realize he is not the only being in the universe.
See if you can cut down on his caffeine he seems pretty high strung and all those energy drinks they got to go.
Get him lots of rest, maybe its just me but 20 years sounds about right.
I also recommend moving, I know you picked the biggest back water slum you could find but I think say Mongolia. Some place without a internet.
Last keep him away from Blondes. Fake breast seem to be a particular weakness for him.
More then anything I wouldn’t wish your predicament on anyone.
Im thinking out loud here and maybe this will have to wait but maybe on the new TV studio/channel we could have a sit com. called Two and a Half DB’s?
The setting is a small back water town in south Texas where two men loser types lose touch with what little reality they had before. One can be called Marty or the “Martster” the other “Rimmer”.
The name Martster comes from the fact that the guy is quite dumb but absolutely convinced he is smarter then everyone else.
The name Rimmer comes from some sexual act this guy performed on a group of other men when he was younger and has never been able to live down.
These two DBs have little escapades like “fishing off the back porch” and “trying to go into exclusive high end hotels where they are not wanted and being thrown out by security”.
But it all comes together when they con some unsuspecting dim bulb into financially supporting them as they “counsel” this person. This is the half DB.
It will need a lot of developing but as they say truth is stranger then fiction.
LOL! Well, if nothing else, the Rimmer name has to stick. Mike Rimmer. It’s a winner.
~
But do keep developing the concept. The real life characters certainly provide enough content on a daily basis to keep the show going.
Well, I meant right-brain, but rat-brain isn’t bad. Squirrels are part of the rodent family.
“When he says, “what wall?” – and he will !
This sounds like the reality TV show – “Trailer Park Boys”.
“Before they ever get any case gain, they’re going to have to clean up their act. That means fessing up and actually taking responsibility.”
—
That is a very long and dimly lit tunnel for them to look through. I’m guessing they will look away.
I want everyone to know that if what you wanted to do is make Marty feel bad you have been successful. It makes me so mad. What has he ever done to you personally?
Today he hardly got out of bed he just laid there and ate donuts and watched his meter.
Though I don’t think it is all you, he had a real bad mishap with his meter – I think it stopped working. Before the needle was constantly going bing de bing de bing all over the place. Now its just stuck in the middle of the dial. I thought that meant he was floating. That’s what he told me before when he picked up the cans to show me the meter, the needle was just standing there in the middle real still in the middle and Marty said his needle was constantly floating. And then gave that mad scientist look that I think is so funny.
But I don’t know how to get him to do anything, he just lays there like a big fat fish. And he stinks. He says its his mojo.
Anyway can someone say something happy to him. And if you do I will even invite those cute busters guys in next time.
I can’t wait I have never been on TV before.
Great idea. You could do an episode where they go to the IRS and FBI in Washington, D.C. to “blow the whistle” on the Church, but the IRS and FBI don’t even want to talk to them, so they have to settle for taking their photos on the front steps of the FBI building, and getting T-shirts that say “I came to see the FBI and all I got was this stupid T-shirt.”
OR
How about an episode where Martster wants to get married, and Rimmer decides he’ll be the minister, but he makes up a phony Church name on the marriage certificate instead of just going on the internet and paying $7.50 to become a real certified minister. The whole “wedding” ends up being illegal, and hijinks ensue…
I heard about that. Third prize apparently is an intensive of “fish space mimicry” with Marty, whatever that means.
Ok, wise guy. Am I supposed to be the image or the ass here or what??
Is this some kind of metaphor or something??
Right – get Mosey to hide the tin foil!
Minerva,
Marty is too rigid in his thinking. He can’t think outside the box, or should I say squirrel cage. He’s on automatic when it comes to certain subjects and has no more control over what comes out of his mouth (or keyboard) than the man in the moon.
Rigidity has set in. He’s in one of those broken record ruts and lots of people are getting tired of hearing the same old mantra.
when you think about it, it would have been scary if he would have said something positive about the Church purchasing the TV station. I for one would not have expected it and might have even had to reconsider whether or not he had some redeeming quality after all. Now that’s a shocking thought. But, I already knew what he was going to say – not every word but the general spin. What still amazes me is that despite his public confessions on TV and to the SP Times about being a liar, he’s still doing it. It reminds me of the passage from the Anti-Social Personality “Many Anti-Social Persons will freely confess to the most alarming crimes when forced to do so, but will have no faintest sense of responsibility for them.”
Christine,
I have suspicion, that both Marty Rathbun and Mike Rinder do know the beauty of having the Basics and all the Congress and ACC lectures available for the first ime. They both have sets of them. Publicly they cannot admit to this because they know that it would look bad for them to admit this is a completely on source thing for the Church to be selling and delivering to the public – the knowledge of Scientology. It would make COB right which they cannot do because they would have to check their evil purposes for a short time instead of dramatizing them 24/7. I am sure they both feel this would be extremely dangerous to their existence. Too bad for them.
That’s actually kinda funny isn’t it. Trying to ignore the largest book and media creation center, or Flag, the largest delivery center, or the Freewinds or the Ideal Orgs or the KCET purchase. All filling themselves and preparing for more expansion. All on purpose in training and auditing, with tens of thousands of private and public displays of help…per day…perhaps per hour.
.
What a complex villain Rathbun is. I never know if he is going to try to prove his insane act “Right” or prove the daily expansion news of the Church “Wrong”. He is so clever. He keeps me on my toes, each either/or taking him to unexpected depths of stupid – though I guess if I had studied dwindling spirals more I wouldn’t have this problem. Yet again…Marty’s right and I am wrong.
Marty is already in the dust. That’s why he keeps on with the unusual solutions and staying in bed with the other gnats and parasites.
I’m not sure of your point. Marty has the shack and he is working with a booming school…well, because of his intention and prowess that school doesn’t exist but it was sure going to be booming, just like the failures that he gets to pick up the cans…can’t really call the PCs since they will never be Clear because of Rathbun’s methods…but come on, let’s call them PNs – pre-natterers. Sorry, that’s the best I can do because that is the best that Marty can do.
Maybe Marty ate the aluminum foil. Aluminum poisoning would explain a lot. For example, the extra weight would explain the increased rate of dwindling spiral and the log increase in stupid that we’ve noticed.
You betcha!
He can do something on his feet. Did you see that video of him lately? I go back and watch it sometimes just to study what a true psychotic is like. Wow, is he whacked – the muttering and smoking and walking in circles and spitting where he walks inside the building. True madness. Glad he doesn’t have a gun. I pity anyone who goes out with him on the boat.
Good point FatDaddy. Society has named a lot of people with devastating physical and mental aberrations as retards and it is not our purpose to mock them. The use of the term by its other definition is just impolite.
.
I kind of like: Marty and the Compulsions, or any variation of that.
Nice piece TomDickHarry. Marty and His Self Inflicted Doom…exactly!
He appears to be in flames already. He’ll be a cinder soon.
All very good ideas but lets start here.
Two and a half DB’s – Pilot – The Transforamtion
Pilot Marty is a bumbling alcoholic who believes he is an investment banker with a law degree when in fact he is homeless with a bad case of crotch rot. He has many illnesses and infections which makes him somewhat delusionary. While digging through an old dumpster looking for plastic bottles and cans to put together some beer money Marty has a vision. A bright light shines down on him and an old dying squirrel with most of the hair missing from his tail (kind of looks like a rat disguised as a squirrel) appears above Marty he is drinking a beer and has a pot belly, the supernatural squirrel then tells Marty that he is a religious leader from long ago with magical healing powers and his time was over that he was passing on to squirrelanda (a state of being where you can not hide) and he was going to transfer his magical powers to Marty.
But first Marty had to except his new name The Martster. Once his transformation into the Martster was complete Marty would have these magical powers to heal for himself. He would also be smarter then anyone else and all his old crimes would be magically transformed into good deeds. All things that happened to him would be important and all things he did to others would be unimportant. He would have ownership of anything he touched and others would own nothing, he would not only be able to speak Spanish but he would also speak in generalities.
The old dying squirrel goes on to tell him he will need a trusty side kick which he should call Rimmer and he will need a way to be financially supported and recommends marrying a woman with a job.
Marty falls to his knees and says Yes yes yes make me important! Make me smart. I want magical powers over other people!
Marty starts to pass out and the old squirrel says to him you will need one more thing you will need a nemesis. Marty becomes confused and says what’s a neemsisis. The old squirrel gets impatient and starts to says NEMESIS you idiot but stops and says “an enemey. There is a secret to your power over others, you are only as great as your enemies so pick wisely. Pick a good man, a man of action and foresight. One who commands respect and is welcomed anywhere, one who is attempting to do something that has never been done before. This way you have someone to blame for all the acts of cruelty and injustice you will be forced to do to defeat him, plus since you will never be able to defeat such a person you will never lack for reasons. And having “reasons” is important, more important then food and water. If you can not justify and blame then your powers will fade and you will never be invited to squirrelanda.
With that Marty now transformed into the Martster he passes out in a pile of rotting vegetables.
Watch the next exciting episode as we find out: Who does the Martster pick as Rimmer, Can Martster find a woman to sponge off of, and who will be his enemy!
Tell him to try this dream mojo:
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Dream Mojo
.
When the moon is full, fill a blue mojo bag with dried mugwort herb.
Seal, consecrate and charge, and keep it under your pillow at night
when you sleep in order to conjure forth dreams of a prophetic nature.
No Marty. You are nothing so substantial as an Ass. At this point, you are merely the airs of the ass.
I’m confused? How would we know what was effective if Marty didn’t complain about it?
Exactly right… er…ah… I mean, must be some cleverly worded attempt to re-enforce my image as a brown noser, I mean calling you an Ass like that…I’m right, aren’t I Marty?
Hey Linebacker…interesting bio line, I’m sure a lot of passionate journalistic thought went into crafting it. I’ve looked at his stuff before and I think he’s in total confusion and suffering from diarrhea of the mind, *exactly* like the Squirrel Rathbun. Don’t tell Mike I said this, he might pull his head out if he had long enough to think about it – and I don’t want to be responsible for recontaminating the Gulf.
“…he just lays there like a big fat fish. And he stinks. He says its his mojo.”
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Wow. That is his mojo. I smelled it too. Isn’t it odd that either of them are speaking the truth? Has that happened before?
I can’t wait for the next episode.
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If only I could speak in generalities, then I could pick a nemesis too and be Marty’s sidekick. Or is that already taken? I’m gonna stay toon’d.